While John was out today, his girl Karla gave me a call and decided she wanted to clear out his office, mainly some of the parts he has laying around that are taking up space.

After long conversation on how best to get rid of this stuff, I came up with the idea of having some sort of contest to have some of you guys win the parts.

Saying as this is Thanksgiving and Holiday time, I get to put up with the in-laws all month long, which is pretty depressing and sucks giant *****. So with that in mind, i need cheering up.
The person who posts the best joke will win a free greddy catch can. Jokes will be judged on how hard i laugh on this wonderful laugh-o-meter:

fart joke------------------- funny------------------hilarious


The deadline is gonna be Thursday 27th, and the winner will be announced the next day.


also here is a pic of the catch can........and Karla



more stuff will be given away later, so keep your eyes peeled for new threads

 

You want a joke?

Well the jokes on your co-worker since you just posted pics of his girl on the internet

 

Can I trade the catch can for Karla?
<--------- joke lol

 

You might not want her. She is VERY HIGH maintenance.

 

what kind of jokes are we telling?

 

Anything funny

 

all kinds....except for racist or offensive jokes that could get you banned from the site. Cos that'd be just plain silly.

 

Guy walks into a bar orders 12 shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender says "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?" Guy replies "you would be drinking this fast if you had what I have." Bartender says"what do you have?" Guy smiles and says "75 cents"

 

So whats the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and Sarah Palin's vagina?




Only half of what comes out of her vagina is retarted...



I know, very un-pc; but you know. Anything for a freebe!

 

lol havent heard that one in a longgg time!

 

For a bar joke I got one..

A guy orders 10 shots of vodka and asks the bartender to lign them up from one to ten... After counting the drinks the customer throws out number one and number ten and drinks the rest.... the bartender asks how come you got rid of those two?? and the customer replies COUSE the first one always tastes nasty and last one makes me throw up .......... hehe

 

When you first get married You have HOUSE SEX .. sex all over the house!..... couple years later you have BED SEX only sex in the BEDROOM... A few years after you only have HALWAY SEX when you wake up in the morning walk by each other and say FU#K you FU#K you and you keep on walkin ............. hehe

 

ok heres my real joke:

A dad calls his daughter on the phone from work:

Hello?
Hi honey this is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?
No Daddy, she's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.
After a brief pause, the dad says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul."
Oh why, yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now.
Another brief pause.....
Uh... Okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs fast and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway!!!
Okay Daddy, just a minute.
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone. "I did it Daddy."
And what happened honey? he asked.
Well, mommy got all scared,jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming.Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!
Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?, said the dad
He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead because he isnt moving.....
.
***Long Pause***
......
***Longer Pause***
............
***Even Longer Pause***
....................

Then the dad says, "Swimming pool?......

...Is this 736-9020?"

gets me every time

 

thats a good one

 

Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out the toy box?









She Kept Sitting on Pinocchio's Face saying LIE to Me, Lie to ME!!!!!